i don't think you read my blog

So I can tell you what I wanna tell you and it won't be awkward and it is though just me typing this here and ARGHHH i dunno how to say this but cila calls it a girlcrush and it's...sort of that, in the weirdest sense, I like to call it a friendcrush in that I WANNA BE FRIENDS WITH YOU SO HARD BUT we're so AWKWARD BABY and I want to NOT BE but it's HARD and I dunno but YOU but a smile to my face so easily and that sounded a BIT GAY but then when I was crying you made me laugh and made me so much happier with just a few words and you make me laugh in ALL THE TIME and it fucking sucks you're in Virginia and I'm in Washington because I wanna hang out with you and watch movies and go to Goodwill and look for weird things and watch NEWSIES together this si just so so soo grarrr. It's stupid really. I wish I could be less awkward and weird when we say goodniight and I wish you...ffff I just wanna flail at the computer because grarrr this is stupid, my awkward flailing and how I'm posting this here because I don't think you read this and if you do read this then this awkward and if you do then don't tell me cos the AWKWARD, HAIL, but just know ILU even though we've never met and have only known each other for a few weeks really, but you sent me an awesome card and I wanna knit you a bunch of stuff but it would be weird? I don'tknow about anything but I like you and stuff so there's that. I just want to be friends with you no matter if there's a them or Chatzy or LHS or RP you know? but i dunno if you feel the same way : / gawddddd if you read this.....i'm sorry. and i really do. like you. i'll.....go finish that reply. :/

also, listening to Layla and Other Assorted Love Songs. This album makes my life.

sad

I think I, I have this, like, I’m a sort of person who will get unbearably sad if I don’t fight it off. And, and, so. Nothing’s worked today, and I just feel sad. And you know nothing’s gonna help for a while. I’m, just, uhm. God. Heart feels heavy sadness.