motherfucking knitting

This is way to many post for one day but I shall express my idea of knitting here:
GARRHHSONUVAFAHRHFFHHHFUUUUCKKKKKKK
I'm trying to learn from a video online. IT. IS. USELESSS. I feel like eating someone. I can't even cast on! BAHHUMBUG. And then I had these knitting needles tucked behind my ear (like I do with my crochet hooks, for easy grabbing) and then I was waving them around and I stabbed myself in the face! I've never stabbed myself in the face with a crochet hook. I have hurt my lip, though. The hook...anyway. I think I need someone to visually and physically teach me how to knit. Otherwise, fuck knitting and all the cool things you can make with it.