lefthanders

So when I get bored and Blake plays Madden I like to rant about the evils of left-handed people. "Never turn your back on a leftie, Blake. They will slit your throat as easily as they breathe." "Remember that 911 thing, Blake? LEFT HANDERS." "Always keep eye contact with a lefthander-" (this is itself a contradiction to what I have said earlier, earlier: "if you make eye contact with a leftie they can steal your soul") "and watch their hands." "Never drink or eat something a left handed person has given you." "Did you know, did you know, left handed people have poisonin their blood? Its true, true. A drop of a lefted handed persons blood could kill a right handed person in a split second." "Why would I lie to you? Im not left handed."
I dont actually think left handed people are evil. Its just fun to rant about it.
Btw tonights post is apostrophe free as something has been activated where it does a thing when I type an aprostophe.
Now I wish Blake would get off his goddamned game and let me watch Leno. Its his last night. What the fuck is blakes problem?