IT'S EIGHT O CLOCK ON A SATURDAAAY

Here are my plans for a lonely Saturday night at my father's house (dad: at the bar w/ sandy, blake: at a campout w/ scouts)

1. Somehow convince Dad to buy alcohol. Well, every time we go to store after he picks me up every other Friday, he buys his wine or whatever and I half jokingly/ half seriously say, Hey you should buy me some alcohol! and for some reason this time it worked and he bought me wine coolers. So this part- CHECK, DAMNIT.

2. Load the movie The Rolling Stone's Rock 'n Roll Circus. WORKIN' ON IT.

3. COOOOOOKIESSS. FUCK YES.

4. Tim's Jalapeno Potato Chips? OH YEAHHHH.

5. Watch said awesome movie. Drink, eat. Be merry. Try to feel less alone. :D

line between pain and pleasure

Look here, I'm not masochistic or anything. but pain is fascinating.

I ran into the curling iron today. Like, my mom had it propped up against the makeup basket- no idea why, or why she left it on, because I never use it- but I was reaching for, looking for, my black eyeliner, and my arm banged up against the curling iron and WHAM I was awake. Previously I had been sleepy and dazed and, well, I slept in again on accident, but then I burned and 'FUCK!' and so I was awake.

It's interesting is all.

And I've been baking- cookies, for student teacher's leaving party thing in class- and so argh my back is in a lot of pain. But it's a sort of numb, icey pain, it's weird.

Hm.

I think the second pan I used wasn't clean or something- it's smelling like salt, not good. What was that last used for...hnn...not the calzone...I DUNNO. Ergh. Ah well. If they taste funky I'll just stop using that pan.

ringo or paul;

I've gotta finish crocheting this Beatle first before I do Edward and Alphonse and then that top.

It'll either be Paul, 'cos it's just cute, or if I add a nose and make his hair look longer, it'll be Ringo.

Hmm.

Might try to do the Ringo one.

Just, y'know. 'cos. I love Ringo.

It's amigurumi so it's gonna be pretty fuckin' adorable.

self,

Dear Self,

I know, I know.

You are terrible at staying with one project at a time.

See, you just got yarn to make that thing for your brother (Edward and Alphonse Elric) for which he's paying you for, too, by the way.

But all you really wanna do is make that new Emmaline pattern in the new Knitty, right?

I know, I know.

You're even looking up the yarn to make it with.

And you're right- Comfy bulky KnitPicks yarn is probably perfect, seeing as it's cotton and acrylic and it's a summer shirt and it's a pretty good price for yarn.

BUT SELF, PLEASE.

THINK ABOUT THIS.

If you make those two amis for your brother- you will then have the money to buy the yarn! Good God, girl. Please. Do the damn cute things and then make the friggin' shirt.

And yes, be excited, it's your first garment. :D

So, please. Be patient. Make Edward and Alphonse, get money, buy yarn. Make the shirt.

--Love,

SELF.

girl we couldn't get much highah

So I watched this movie on the Doors today- The Doors. Clever name.

Also, awesome movie!

Sorta trippy but I've seen Tommy so, like, not much can faze ya after that. (Well, Frank Zappa, from what I've heard.) Anywaaay. So, yeah. Jim Morrison. Crazy awesomeness. Just crazy. his voice is amazing, though. Like, it doesn't really fit his body- if that makes sense. My mom says to me one day, after I gave her a Beatles mix CD- "See, hearing Paul's voice- he doesn't look anything like I'd picture someone with this voice." Which didn't and still doesn't make a lot of sense. But like Morrison. I forgot what I was saying.

zappa and formspring

So I'm listening to Frank Zappa who is kind of like pure awesomness.

And also, abusing Formspring. Oh god. People I barely know on FB post theirs so I just..like barrage them with weird questions. And apparently fs has a question and time limit. Like I can't submit more then 20 questions in like 5 minutes or something. Alas! The funny part is one of the questions I asked was 'Aren't you glad Formspring is anonymous? I'm pretty excited about it' and this dude replied, 'Sometimes (other girl I AM NOT), sometimes.' So hahah he thinks one of his friends is asking him all this weird stuff but IN FACT IT'S SOME CRAZY GIRL. MWAHAHAH.

Yeah, I am way too easily amused.

I've done this on a few other peoples' too, that one girl who the guy thought it was, but she took everything so seriously, and one of my brother's old friends who had really short answers but he was fun, too. Yeah nobody should give me access to Formspring when I am bored.

Going to bed after this album is done. Freak Out! by the Mothers of Invention- aka Frank Zappa and the Mothers. :D I love it. I love his, like, drawl. It's superawesome. I love the weirdness.

Of course the one thing I ALWAYS ask on Formspring is- Beatles or Stones? and if Beatles, favorite Beatle? if stones, you can go to hell- and so people will say - 'George because no one likes him'- WHICH ADAMANTLY PROTEST, BEING A GEORGE-LOVER- or 'Ringo. octopus' garden ftw' hahaha YES.

Dammit I love Zappa. Specfuckingtacular stuff, maan.

I may or may not have been drinking wine most of the night. and playing Sims 3.

DESICIONS

I CAN'T SPELL DESICIONS

but dunno what to dooo

Watch a adequate episode of Quantum Leap or take a bath?

GUH.

I think I'll go with QL.

Goddamn I love me some Scott Bakula.

paaain

God so much pain.

Leg pains and so much goddamn pain in my upper back/shoulders. Like ungodly. More than usual, and usually I'm in all sorts of back pain. And more weird nerve -shock pains. Do not want. And this spot on my back that goes numb sometimes-when I stand up or sit down or move my arm too much. What. DO NOT WANT. Dislike.

So tonight I took a bath and read The Golden Compass in the bath and tried to get more shoulders to hurt less and my hair is still all wet because I pulled it back so it wouldn't get wet but, yeah. Baths.

Still though, pain. D; Hot bath did not work.

Me and Blake started discussing...oh, Kevin Smith movies. Oh, because I was talking about Cop Out. and how it wasn't as funny as other KS movies- and so we started like, CLERKS IS AWESOME and CLERKS II IS TOO and then like we somehow started talking about the Saw movies and I said they're "torture porn! people out there getting their rocks off on people cutting their body parts off..." which Blake objected to strongly. Lol.

Agh now I wanna watch Dogma. Hnn.

Back going numb. Ergh. Weird feeling.

random thoughts

I like food. I like the taste of food and how it makes me happy and I like cooking and baking food. But I just dislike, like, the physical act of eating. Weird.

Hmm.
Went with Dad to see Alice In Wonderland but it was sold out so we saw Cop Out instead. I loved it. "I knit sweaters." "no really" "YEAH REALLY. I knit the FUCK out some big nice sweaters!" Of course I just love like anything Kevin Smith's done, so, yeah. And Bruce Willis + Tracy Morgan= win.

so now I am going to...watch Quantum Leap I think
and maybe eat some turkey with cheese and mustard
because I am all alone and bored.
This is weird, I think, judging by other people: if I am all alone in the house, I'm pretty goddamn fine. Apparently people freak out when they are all alone. Like Heather says she locks the doors and checks all the rooms and keeps the lights on. And I, er, don't? I dunno..

There's a spot on my back that goes inexplicably numb sometimes. That's weird.

bad mood

I feel like shit.

For various reasons.

One of them being apparently I can't bake.

And I want to be a baker.

Usually I forget something, misread it, add something, don't mix it enough, mix it too much. Fucking hell why am I shit at everything?

All I wanna do is crochet this little amigurumi Beatle I'm making but noo I had to make lemon bars for mom so she can bring them to her bf's house this weekend. And then of course because it's 10:45 at night I accidentally add two cups of confecteners sugar (also, FUCK YOU GOOGLE CHOME: don't tell me it's spelled wrong if you can't spell it, either) instead of one in the crust and almost started crying when I had to beat eggs and my back was hurting so much. Goddamnit. This week just plains suck and I'm so fucking glad it's over but the worst part is it's gonna start again next week. And the week after that. Fuck.

So besides being depressed I'm not doing much. Crocheting a Beatle. He's coooot so far. Not sure if it's Paul or Ringo? Cute enough to be Paul. If I added a nose it'd be Ringo. I might try a nose. And give him shaggier hair-- I mean like w/ sideburns. Goddamn my bad hurts. I don't want to go to school tomorrow. Like, crazy bad. I wonder if I just, like, went for the first few hours? I feel like complete shit. Just all around in general, shit shit shit. I'm terrible at everything and haveastupidcrushonaboy and I just want to cry 'cos I can't bake anything right.