bad mood

I feel like shit.

For various reasons.

One of them being apparently I can't bake.

And I want to be a baker.

Usually I forget something, misread it, add something, don't mix it enough, mix it too much. Fucking hell why am I shit at everything?

All I wanna do is crochet this little amigurumi Beatle I'm making but noo I had to make lemon bars for mom so she can bring them to her bf's house this weekend. And then of course because it's 10:45 at night I accidentally add two cups of confecteners sugar (also, FUCK YOU GOOGLE CHOME: don't tell me it's spelled wrong if you can't spell it, either) instead of one in the crust and almost started crying when I had to beat eggs and my back was hurting so much. Goddamnit. This week just plains suck and I'm so fucking glad it's over but the worst part is it's gonna start again next week. And the week after that. Fuck.

So besides being depressed I'm not doing much. Crocheting a Beatle. He's coooot so far. Not sure if it's Paul or Ringo? Cute enough to be Paul. If I added a nose it'd be Ringo. I might try a nose. And give him shaggier hair-- I mean like w/ sideburns. Goddamn my bad hurts. I don't want to go to school tomorrow. Like, crazy bad. I wonder if I just, like, went for the first few hours? I feel like complete shit. Just all around in general, shit shit shit. I'm terrible at everything and haveastupidcrushonaboy and I just want to cry 'cos I can't bake anything right.

friday, friday

I finished my capulet and it's nice but honestly, I don't think I'll ever wear it. Since I am not going to the Winter Ball, I am pretty sure. I'm feeling pretty lazy, so I'll just have mom return the dress. Man, I'm a dork or whatever...
So now I'm crocheting a blanket because I learned how to make a granny square (thanks Mary) and I've got all this yarn I bought to make a sweater but I don't wanna make a sweater now. And this milk yarn cowl/neckwarmer I'm doing. This yarn is the best.
For Blake I'm going to make Bender Bending Rodrigez, from Futurama. I am thinking I will make a Zoidberg one, too, to send aaalll the way to Florida for Kody (older brother), but I'm not sure he would appreciate such a gesture. Navy, and all that. Maybe I will make it for him and give it to him if he ever comes to visit and be all, Oh you can have it if you want, yeah. He gave me Doctor Who and Tek Jansen comics for Christmas. I gave him a book on Buddhism. Haven't talked to him in a while, hmm...he might get shipped to a little island called Diego Garcia, which is like Hawaii if most of it was a military base, so that's pretty cool. Mhmm.
Maybe I'll go play the sims now. I brought Apartment Life to install onto my dad's computer.
Or, I've been meaning to watch a show called Northern Exposure, let's see if I can find it online. That, or Inkheart, or one of those Bruce Campbell horror movies I keep forgetting the name of. Evil Dead? I watched the first one, it's good.