bad mood

I feel like shit.

For various reasons.

One of them being apparently I can't bake.

And I want to be a baker.

Usually I forget something, misread it, add something, don't mix it enough, mix it too much. Fucking hell why am I shit at everything?

All I wanna do is crochet this little amigurumi Beatle I'm making but noo I had to make lemon bars for mom so she can bring them to her bf's house this weekend. And then of course because it's 10:45 at night I accidentally add two cups of confecteners sugar (also, FUCK YOU GOOGLE CHOME: don't tell me it's spelled wrong if you can't spell it, either) instead of one in the crust and almost started crying when I had to beat eggs and my back was hurting so much. Goddamnit. This week just plains suck and I'm so fucking glad it's over but the worst part is it's gonna start again next week. And the week after that. Fuck.

So besides being depressed I'm not doing much. Crocheting a Beatle. He's coooot so far. Not sure if it's Paul or Ringo? Cute enough to be Paul. If I added a nose it'd be Ringo. I might try a nose. And give him shaggier hair-- I mean like w/ sideburns. Goddamn my bad hurts. I don't want to go to school tomorrow. Like, crazy bad. I wonder if I just, like, went for the first few hours? I feel like complete shit. Just all around in general, shit shit shit. I'm terrible at everything and haveastupidcrushonaboy and I just want to cry 'cos I can't bake anything right.

when/if

When/if I get a new ukulele (concert, i wanna concert uke) I wanna get a Sharpie and cover my cheapo soprano uke with Beatles lyrics quotes. my god I'm a Beatles dork. is this one of those things you should try and keep rather secret if it's, yknow, too fanatic? I mean, I've got like 5 Ringo albums. that is a little lame. BUT I LURVE RINGO. (see below.) and I dun wanna start beatleranting (I do but haven't the time)..so yahh

what else

uh
tonight was the school music concert- i'm in choir so i had to sing. it's a little depressing because do you know what? anything you do someone is always better then you. Sigh. i make myself feel better by thinking things like, well that person is hella good at music but uhh I have a personality? and hilariousness and fuck you, i can crochet things... anyway those things always get me down, i hate it when people are better at something than me. ugh. but that's everyone at everything really so I better get over it.

i'm knitting & crocheting things for relatives now, and I forgot how much i LOVE crocheting. jesus. so fun and gorgeus..
I want to crochet BEATLES.
/needs skin-colored acrylic yarn...
hnnn
and black
grrr
anda a pattern