out of sorts

I haven’t cried in months but tonight I broke that streak.
It all starts with me agreeing to go to this barbeque/party thing with my dad. It’s at his cousins and their version of a party is a keg and some food. Yes, there’s a keg. And my dad’s girlfriend and a bunch of his friends and his cousins and their friends, so I know barely anyone and I don’t exactly fit in anyway, seeing as I don’t get drunk or drive motorcycles or watch football, but my brother, Blake, fits in perfectly and they all love him for being just like them, or at least he will be like them in 10 years. I mostly hide in the truck or play my Gameboy and so no one really talks to me but at one point, they all start talking about how awesome Blake is and how he’s exactly like them and he’s so cool and here’s the thing : I AM STANDING RIGHT THERE. I mean, it’s like they didn’t even notice me- and they probably didn’t, because I am shy and smart and quiet and bring books to parties and wear glasses and don’t drink, so I stalked off to the truck where I started crying because apparently, I don’t fit in anywhere. I don’t hate Blake or anything, which is weird, I just hate how I don’t fit in with my dad’s family or my mom’s family or with anybody, really, at school or anywhere so it’s a little sad. And my dad tried to comfort me, drunkenly, but mostly he just ended up making me feel worse.

That's what I just posted in the Rav Teens Knit and Crochet group Irritation thread. I might walk to the store but I'm not sure if I should do that at like 11 at night. Hnn?