my titles are bad

So blake did not eat all the pizza. It was in his room/ He gave it to me this morning.
Today.
- went to Goodwill, got knitting needles (even though...I don't knit, really), a book on UFOs or some sort, and sunglasses. It's crazy sunny here and I found some cheap sunglasses that fit over my regular glasses, yayy. Tried to convince my mom to buy bag of yarn. She did not fall for it.
- went to Grocery Outlet. They had Lion Brand Chenille Thick&Quick yarn for, like, 2 bucks, so mom bought that for me but now what will I do with it? Hnn.
- went to Arby's. uhmmm.
- Now I'm bored and only slightly craving social interaction. Internet is not place for it. Went to library and couldn't find any friends there. To yarn store I go. Print out pic of Zoidberg for color matching, just to check maybe not to buy.

mofo bastard

So I babysat tonight and had to watch Narnia: Caspian and then watched that Nick and Norah movie.
Blake had mentioned he'd save a piece of pizza for me at home and then I come home and the motherfucker had NOT. Or, if he did, it is for some reason in his room. And it was GOOD pizza, too, not like cheap Papa Murphy's or frozen pizza like we get WHENEVER I AM HERE. Bastarrd.
And I'm shaking so badly and I'm so cold and so hungryy and not tired at fucking all. Fuuuck.

brrr

It's, like, cold. Frick.
shirt.woot has got the best of me again. After ordering You Have To Try This Guys, with the cannibalistic bunny on it, last week, today they had a Random shirt and..well, I had to. Needed to. I can never have enough t shirts, anyway. Running out of clothes.
Got myself a babysitting job. A good one, too. from, like 6 pm to 1 or 2 in the morning. For two kids. Flipping sweet, yo. One of the girls I like, I used to tutor her and she's not such an awful kid. Her sister is. I'm not a very good babysitter, anyway. I don't like their dog, either. It's a puppy, I think, and her name is Amber. Amber is a stripper name.
Made a hat. Gotta work on Optimus Prime. I figure, hey, so, he's just a bunch of squares and stuff, right? Yeah. Maybe.
Eating conversation hearts. I swear to God this one says, 'TAX ME.'...what? Or...maybe it's 'FAX ME? Jesus Christ, when was the last time anyone used a fax for social purposes? Never. Never. 'DO GOOD'? How is that...even Valentine's Day related, even? 'NATURE LOVER'? Why? Just why?
Edit: Does 'fax' have some sort of sexual connotation? Ew.

i ought to collect buttons

Random. But I really do. Think that'd be fun.
You know what sucks? going to school, like, all day. Usually I fall asleep in 2nd or 3rd hour, if I do show up more or less on time. I've been trying to come more or less on time, lately. Then the school won't call my mom with the recorded message. "Your son or daughter has been absent for one or more classes today..."
Bought some yarn. For a hat. I've been aching for a hat. It's blue with leftover bits I can do the blue bits on Optimus Prime. I've got the red, white, grey, and black. Now all I have to do is get around to doing it...
That, and Bender. And I wanna get the Creepy Cute Crochet book for the Cthulu pattern, easily made into a Zoidberg.

Angry last night about Prez Obama pre-empting A.Idol.

TREBEK!

Late for school. Dad, who came to pick up Blake to help him move, would not write a note for me. Bastard.
Got tiny crochet hooks from RAK group on ravelry. Have reason to make lace now.
Got into argument with tall boy in Theatre class about which Robin got killed and which ones didn't. (Batman.) He said 1st did and I said, no, 2nd did. Said he had comic books and will bring.
Got locked out of house after school. Mom locking all doors in middle of day: weird.
In preparation to take Jeopardy! Teen Tournament Online Test, played old (read: 1998) Jeopardy! CDROM Game. It's actually called the CDROM Game. Spent hour yelling at computer screen. Mostly along lines of, "FUCK YOU, TREBEK."
Took Jeopardy! Teen Tournament Online Test. Want to get on Jeopardy. Not likely. Test had question about Twilight. Lost faith in humanity.

sometimes i have anger issues.

Today has been going alright. Listen, I can't figure out if alright is correct, or it's it's 'all right'. Not sure.
More or less on time for school. 15 minutes late, but I said to Mom five. LIES. Whatever.
I fell asleep in Greenhouse. Not, IN the Greenhouse. The class is called Greenhouse. Mrs. B says it should be called Horticulture. We do go in the Greenhouse, though, and grow plants. We're learning about bonzai trees.
I didn't get lunch today. Well, here's the thing: I didn't bring any money for lunches today, so I get up there and the lady who's running the charging computer goes, "No." She takes my food, except for the vegetables, milk, and the apple. Well, I don't want just my fucking veggies milk and apple if I can't have the goddamn rest, so in plain view, I toss all of in the garbage can. Waste of food. I know. Then I get up to my lunch table, and Emily's there, and I am so angry now. I get a chair, and I kick it (damaging my shin) and say, "They wouldn't let me have any fucking lunch." I curse, a lot, you know, but RARELY ever at my lunch table. And NEVER in front of Emily. She's a churchy type. That's how angry I was. However, she did give me some of her tater tots. And a friend lent me a dollar so I could buy a muffin. MUFFFINN.
I have a flower in my hair. I got called out of Theatre class to go the guidance counselor. A few months ago, there was this T.W.I.S.T. conferance. Teen Women Inspiring...Something? Dunno. I went because it was free and I got out of school. I spent the day being snarky and sarcastic and mean. We wrote "a letter to ourselves" about being a role model or some shit. So we got the letter back today, and they gave me a certificate and a flower. I always love putting flowers in my hair. It's the one girly thing I like. In the Greenhouse, I always snatch a flower and tuck it behind my ear.
In English, we're watching Of Mice and Men, which is crazy sad and tragic but I love it. It's got John Malkovich and Gary Sinise. Confession: I have a thing for Gary Sinise. Not sure why. He's not, like, crazy sexy or anything, although...yeah. He's just...ah, I love him. Sometimes I'll even watch CSI:NY but not even Gary can make me watch that sorry excuse for a tv show.
My shin hurts. Mraww.

later...

So I went to the play and I hated it, mostly 'cuz I don't like the kids in it. I mean, damn, some of them are goodlooking but honestly, most of them are bitches/jackasses/stupid. Or they're all of those AND they have really, really annoying voices.
As I'm leaving I called my dad and asked him to pick me up, or at least pick me up while I'm walking home. It's not, like, a long walk home, it's a bit chilly and I'm super tired. Two hours of watching bad acting really gets to you. And my heart problem, which I thought was gone for good, returned during it so I spent the rest of it just tired out and frustrated. Started skipping beats. Thump, thump....THA-thump. Hurts. The thing is, Dad drove RIGHT. PAST. me. Well yeah it's dark but honestly. And he bought the wrong Chex Mix and licorice at the store. For as long as we've eaten licorice it's always been Red Vine, Red Vine, goddamned Red Vine Licorice. REAL fucking licorice. He gets Twizzler. And Traditional Chex Mix, Dad? How many times have I discussed this with him- Bold Party Blend Chex Mix. Traditional doesn't hold a candle to BPB. Whatever happened to my dad? If I talk to much about this, I'm gonna start crying. I just want my dad back. Not the one who smokes and spends the night with his girlfriend and can't tell when I'm joking and fucking smokes and who buys the wrong licorice.
Okay, now I'm crying.

frick

At Dad's again. Suuucks. I have a feeling this weekend is going to be exactly like the one before this and the one before that. And before that. He buys us food and leaves. His house smells like goddamn cigarette smoke. Fuck you, dad, and your smoking. It's gonna kill you. Last weekend when he dropped us off at home, I wasn't speaking to him, just crying, and when he brought it up about he was all sorry because he was working on the house I just lashed out at him. Yeah, he had a valid reason for leaving us but here's the thing: it wouldn't have mattered if he had a reason or not. He's done that before. At about 6 on Friday- "Here's dinner, going to the bar for a few hours, bye." Then it's 3 AM in the morning and he isn't back yet and the next day, he works, then at 5 it's the same thing and Sunday is for football/NASCAR/hanging out with his cousins and he gets home and goes, "got your stuff packed?" DICK. JACKASS. Yeah, we're 16/17 years old but fuck, dad, spend at least a fucking hour with us, okay? And now it's the same thing except he's working on the house. Last weekend when he dropped us off and I was pissed and sobbing, he said "next weekend we'll do something fun, we'll go to (nearby town that has big mall, cool places, fun stuff)" I don't know why I believed him, because we're totally not. He's going to ditch us and I'll end the weekend in tears. Yaay.
I brought with me- Inkdeath, Watchmen, a bunch of yarn, Transformers: Animated and The Sims 2: Apartment Life.
Tonight I have to go the school's Winter One Acts. Literally HAVE to, since if I don't I will FAIL theatre class. I've got a friend who's going and I say to her, "come with me on the same night, I don't want to suffer alone and I need somebody to mock it with." Also I happened to overhear this boy I like/kinda like is going tonight, too. Mhmm.

hallo

So my weekend was great even thought it ended.
Guess who was at school for most of today? ME. BWAHAHA.
I made a little amigurumi something. Originally, I was trying to make a rhino but it didn't pan out so I have a gray little...thing. Blake has literally been threatening me to make him Bender. Like, cornering me and shaking fists. I'll get on that. And I wanna make a Zoidberg for Kodycakes. What I really want to crochet is Optimus Prime. But I need to make a scarf or something for a teacher friend of mine who's birthday was today. That Bernat Boa Yarn looks pretty and would make a nice scarf, I think.
It's not like I'm obsessed with the Jonas Brothers or anything (I'm not. Let this be put on the record.) but lately they've been on everything I'm watching. Thursday: Letterman. Friday: Conan. Saturday: SNL. Wayyy too much Jonas. Anyway, a few observations: How many are there? Three? Okay, one of them is 16...18...and 21. Hey. He's old enough to buy beer. They have names that I keep forgetting or mixing up. Joe? Mike? K...Kyle? He looks like a Kyle. Kevin...and Nick. Huh. Okay. On both talk shows they put them in youngest-to-oldest from the host. So it went 16-18-21 from Letterman/Conan. The littlest one talked more. I don't like the little one. I call him the Young, Stupid, Pretty One. Then there's 18. The Rebel one. I think he thinks he's some sort of a rebel. Also, he's got Straight Hair. And he thinks he's funny. He's the Hot One, I think? There's the oldest. On the talk shows he looked fat when he sat down but on SNL he wasn't fat. Anyway. He's the Funny One. Also, he has sideburns.
Sidenote: Blake just stopped me so I could buzzcut his hair for JROTC. I've never done this before. Weird..
Anyway. Jonas. I don't get them. Yeah, they're cute. Their music sucks. They wear weird, complicated outfits...ohmigod they're the male Hannah Montana x 3. Woah. Both Letterman and SNL did a "fourth Jonas" joke but I liked SNL's better. Alec Baldwin as Gary Jonas, older then the Oldest One by 2 years? Lols to the 4th power. Even though Letterman had a funny Top Ten for the Jonas's...Jonas'...Jonassss? Dunno. If I was playing Screw, Marry or Kill with Jonas as the topic...the middle one, the oldest one, and the young one, respectively.
There's like nothing on TV. Bahhr. I keep on hoping that Kody will get on Messenger so I could talk to him. I've been missing him lately. I keep on thinking...oh, me and Kody used to do this. Like going to Albertson's at 10 o clock at night and wandering around. Who else will do that with me? Or...randomly ordering a pizza. Or...watching MASH or Stargate on DVD. Now it's me and Blake watching Quantum Leap and Transformers: Animated on DVD. Oh god. I miss my older brother so much. Because I'd be late for school and he'd be late for school and he'd be all, 'meh'. Because he made going to the stupid school plays fun. (Damnit, I have to go to the stupid school plays. 'cuz I'm in Theatre class. Last time, for Three Musketeers, I actually got up and left during the show because it was THREE AND HALF HOURS LONG by the time I left.) Because of the way he'd say, "Fix it fix it, 'lyssa." Because he liked cupcakes and cookies without frosting and I'd always make some without frosting just for him. Because he was nicer to me when Blake wasn't around. Because of the way he'd say, Doctor Whoooo? Kody, kody, why'd you have to go and join the goddamned Navy and leave us? Leave me? Because of the way when I'd be sad he'd try and cheer me up. And fail. Admittedly, Blake does a hell of a lot better job at cheering me up after a bad weekend at Dad's when I've been in my room just sobbing, Blake comes in and cracks a joke.
Gotta go look up pics of Optimus Prime and see if I can convert him to a crochet pattern.

very good

Today I went shopping with mom, returned the dress that I didn't wear, got shoes that are almost exactly like the ones I have 'cept they're a diff. color scheme and went to the Panda Express for lunch then went and saw Bride Wars which was bad but entertaining at best.

I want to rant about the Jonas Brothers but later honestly please. It's cold and I'm shaking.

even jeff goldblum can't save this

Jurassic Park: The Lost World is on Bravo right now. A few thoughts:
- I'm still mourning Michael Crichton. ;(
- The first Jurassic Park book was epic. The movie was a very good adaptation.
- The second book, The Lost World, managed to bring Ian Malcom back from the dead.
- It's pretty kickass for a sequel.
- Ian Malcom is the coolest Crichton character.
- Ian Malcom is badass.
- Jeff Goldblum plays Ian Malcom.
- The Lost World movie sucks.
- Even with Jeff Goldblum.
- Dude, that guy is wacko.
- The movie has Vince Freaking Vaughn. Jurassic Park. Vince Vaughn. NO.

It's sad because Jeff Goldblum = cool and Ian Malcom = cool and Dinosaurs = fuckin' awesome but The Lost World just butchers the book and...yeah.

Also random thought: remember that series of cheesy movies from the 90's about miniature dinosaurs? I don't remember what it was called but they were amusing. Listen, it might have been called Miniature Dinosaurs for all I know. Damnit.

is there anyone alive out there

Sometimes I feel alone. Like now. Mom's running and Blake's in his room so it's basically me, wandering around the house and singing and dancing. I dance a lot. I dance for no reason. Brushing My Teeth Dance and I Can't Find Any Clean Clothes Dance and Yay, Dr. Pepper! Dance and Aahhh Quantum Leap Isn't On Dance.
Sometimes when it's quiet I talk. To anyone, to myself, to the TV. When I watch Jeopardy, I shout out the answers and if I got it right, I say "YES!" and if I didn't, then it's "DAMN!"
So I like British tv shows, like I just found this one called No Heroics. It's some lame-ass superheroes. Reminds me of that movie with Ben Stiller..Mystery Men. That's a funny movie.
Oy why's my TV making funny noises? buzz, bzz, shut up.

biscuit

I made cheesy garlic biscuits for dinner. Out of a little mix-water-and-cook bag. Yummm.
Blake totally called me on the Joker shirt. Because I had mentioned a while ago about not wearing it because I'd be an emo.
I got knitting books and now I'm learning how to knit and it's a lot easier then I'd thought it be. Maybe I should stop hating on knitters so much....
Nah.

meh

Today I woke up really late and didn't have a clean shirt, so I had to wear one of Kody's that he left behind when he went to basic training. It's a Joker one that says Why So Serious? Not bad; although it makes me look like someone who is emo. I'm not. But that movie was pretty cool, yeah. Later I went to a TAB meeting and we were all hanging out at the end and suddenly I just said, "...and I'm frigging missing Quantum Leap BYEE."
It's the Jimmy ep which is heartbreaking and awkward. Also I cannot spell awkard right. Hmmm. I like this ep also for Al and how he shows a bit of his true self for once but also, Sam is a dumbass who screws things up ALLTHETIIMEEE.

I don't feel well, maybe I'll go nap and watch Leap...

equally parts awful and fun

I'm angry at my father. Because he barely spent any time with us this weekend and that's not new. He's done that for weeks now. This weekend, he had a reason; he was working on the house. (not the one he lives in but the one he's moving into, our old house). However, when he took us home and I wasn't saying a word to him or even looking at him, he started to apologize and explain that he had to work on the house, but I told him it wouldn't have made a difference or not, he's always gone or leaving us for no reason at all.
Bravo to Blake for trying to cheer me up, though.
Mom got some various preschool-related things from a friend (mom's a preschool teacher) (and all that stuff is crap) and there was a pirate costume and a vampire cape in it and Blake put it all on and he says, I look like a extra from a gay porno. Blacon Bitz, yrsofunnyyy.
So I'm gonna get a bowl of cereal and watch Lost in Austen, which for inexplicable reasons I have become addicted to. Not that I'd admit that in public or anything,

ew.

So I was just eating dinner that dad brought home, fried chicken and I'm in a bad mood anyway but suddenly I looked down at the chicken in my hand and I thought this was once a living creature and I am eating it. And the fried bit started to look like burned/boiled flesh. Needless to say I feel a little ill and put off of dinner for a while...
Dad and his girlfriend ran off to work on the other house, so it was me and Blacon Bitz today all alone. Blake had the Xbox+TV and I had the computer. I played The Sims 2, fixing Belladonna Cove to my liking and pairing people up, etc. Then I watched the first ep of Strangers with Candy, then the first ep of Lost in Austen, which was fluff and not at all explained but good, anyways. Although I feel somewhat ashamed to admit the liking of something Jane Austen related. Darcy is hott.

friday, friday

I finished my capulet and it's nice but honestly, I don't think I'll ever wear it. Since I am not going to the Winter Ball, I am pretty sure. I'm feeling pretty lazy, so I'll just have mom return the dress. Man, I'm a dork or whatever...
So now I'm crocheting a blanket because I learned how to make a granny square (thanks Mary) and I've got all this yarn I bought to make a sweater but I don't wanna make a sweater now. And this milk yarn cowl/neckwarmer I'm doing. This yarn is the best.
For Blake I'm going to make Bender Bending Rodrigez, from Futurama. I am thinking I will make a Zoidberg one, too, to send aaalll the way to Florida for Kody (older brother), but I'm not sure he would appreciate such a gesture. Navy, and all that. Maybe I will make it for him and give it to him if he ever comes to visit and be all, Oh you can have it if you want, yeah. He gave me Doctor Who and Tek Jansen comics for Christmas. I gave him a book on Buddhism. Haven't talked to him in a while, hmm...he might get shipped to a little island called Diego Garcia, which is like Hawaii if most of it was a military base, so that's pretty cool. Mhmm.
Maybe I'll go play the sims now. I brought Apartment Life to install onto my dad's computer.
Or, I've been meaning to watch a show called Northern Exposure, let's see if I can find it online. That, or Inkheart, or one of those Bruce Campbell horror movies I keep forgetting the name of. Evil Dead? I watched the first one, it's good.

oww

My shawl type thing is going well, it's actually looking like a shawl,'cept it's a shrug/capulet thing. Cold Shoulders from the Happy Hooker book. No, it's looking good, hope I have enough for the collar and pompoms (bah, pompoms...)
Oy, I got milk yarn from Mary today. It's super pretty blue and soft, kinda feels like cotton. MIIILK. It's made of MILK. Well, milk proteins, actually. I'm gonna make some sort of cowl/miniscarf/neckwarmer out of it.
Sometimes I verb things that shouldn't be verbed
and all of sudden i am in excruciating pain as i write this ohdeargod whatthehhell is happening to me..my jaw my back my ribs holy shitt gah..
alright it's fading but i'm gonna go lay down and finish the shawl and wind the milk yarn...
night.

cough cough

Today I am sick home from school. I slept in till 10, then got up and figured out that Doctor Who was on all fricking day. This is awesome. I don't know how I do it, but, like, everytime I'm sick, Doctor Who is on. (or The Sarah Jane Chronicles. which wasn't awful.) Right now, 'Blink' is on, and I've seen this a million times because it's my fav. episode, so I'm gonna play The Sims 2 until 'Utopia' is on. Captain Jack Harkness, yesss.

damnit janet

I started this post with a discinct purpose in mind...but, ah, I forgot.
Inrelated news...I watched the Super bowl, kinda, and got all excited about the 3d commercial which was pretty cool. So was The Boss. Who's kinda sexy. And The Office was good.
Yesterday mom and I went shopping and she bought me a dress, a bright blue one that's kinda short but with leggings it'll be fine. The one girly thing I do all year is go dress shopping for some reason or another. I don't really have any reason to go to the Winter Ball (hahaahaha BALL) except last year they had cookies and punch. And, it's something to do on an otherwise boring Saturday night. (saturday night is the loneliest night of the week....) and maybe I'm hoping there's this boy I like and maybe he'll ask me. Is all. Probably not, he won't, since I am a dorky girl who wears dorky t shirts. However, he is a dorky boy who wears an Inuyasha jacket. And he likes foxes. (Maybe I will crochet him a fox tonight. Or tomorrow.)
I am crocheting a shrug/shawl type thing; I hope it matches my dress in some way. (alternately, if it does not, I will wear it anyway. mismatch everything, I say.) The dress is blue and the shrug is purple so, orange shoes and green makeup? Booyah.
My local Jo-Ann's has just got SOCK YARRRN. I was this close to buying it but I figured I should finish all the stuff I have going on right now. (scarf, shrug, and a bunch of other yarn I have and should use.)
I have to go to schoool tomorrow. Well, I'm kinda sick. So maybe not. Ack, ack.
Gotta crochet a heart for a friend. Multicolored. The other day I crocheted a black heart for my BFF and I was all, black heart for your black heart and she's like, awwww.

AHHHH

Watching SNL, flipping back between channels (Doctor Who is on; Martha ep, weird I haven't seen it..) and I had flipped back to SNL and it was a MacGruber sketch and I was all, whee, I love Macgruber skits and then Macgruber says to the Other Guy, "New guy, what's your name?" and RICHARD DEAN FUCKING ANDERSON turns around in a mullet wig and goes, "Macgyver!" and then do a bit about how Macgyver vs. Macgruber, hair and name. I was too busy squeeling and screaming in delight. And then the second bit came on I was all, macgyyyyvverrrr. MacGyver is my ONETRUELOVE. LURRRVE.