13 April 2009

i hate people

I hate people. I hate the stupid kids at my highschool. Wow, you're so original because you have the exact same haircut and clothes as everyone else! I hate the teachers because they're fucktards. I hate it that my "best friend" isn't really my best friend, because all she does is fucking agree with me. On everything. It's like she doesn't have one fucking original thought in her head. I've started to purposely say I hate things she likes just to see what she'll do. Like, "That new Wolverine movie looks like shit." when, in actuality, I kind of want to see it. So she says, "yeah." And then I'll talk about what manga suck and what anime suck and she'll just agree. And I'll say something like.."did you know, etc, etc" and she'll be all, yeah I did know that. So now I'm starting to make things up just to see if she'll agree with me because this is getting ridiculous. Fuck.
I hate my little brother and his friend because they're retarded and loud. I hate the school because they called my mom and told I keep on missing classes. I hate it that I don't have any money. I hate it that all I want to do is sleep and cry and watch Doctor Who. I hate myself for wanting to do those things. I hate all my friends who aren't really my friends and for my family, for knowing I don't have any friends. I hate my mom because I'm just a huge fucking disapointment and I hate it that I'm not more like her and I hate it that she wants me to be more like her. I hate it that my father never talks to me anymore, that he's given up on us, that's basically starting a new life. I hate it that most of what I do most of the time is eating or watching TV. I hate that I can't even get to school on time because I'm a huge fucking failure at life. I hate that I've got no goals and no dreams and no idea what to do after high school. I hate it that I have nowhere to go when I'm feeling awful and nobody to talk to.

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